Fear and Love

In the Fall semester 2010, I had an interesting course.

During one of this course's classses, our teacher told us that based on someone's theory ( I don't remember the name, but it was based on interpersonal communication):

"Every type of Anger, comes from Fear. Always"

He gave us lots of examples, and I also gave it some thought. It is true. I also realized at that point that Fear is indeed one of the strongest emotions and driving forces of a human being.

However, the teacher followed another process later on. It was quite complicated and quite time consuming and I couldn't remember all of it, but I do remember the conclusion.

The main idea was that when one relationship ends (of any kind) and one feels sadness and then feels anger (which of course originates from fear) then thereare two very crucial paths that this person can choose; The path of the understanding the other person's position and "forgive" and the other of keeping the anger inside and blame the other eternally. According to him, if one chooses the first path, then this person will feel what "love" feels like.

On a personal level, I do agree with this (mostly at least) and I can also relate somehow.

However, the reason I mentioned the story and the theory above might seem to be a little bit irrelevant and quite selfish too. I can understand very well when the feeling of "love" occurs to me (because it is extremely rare too) and I am 100% sure when it happens.

The problems are all the other emotions or situations that one could say fall "under" the category of love. Crush, Infatuation, Obsession, In love, Care, Interest and many more. This could be a total contradiction or total confirmation of my previous topic "names". Because I can never differentiate those feelings when they happen to me, and I can never predict their average lifespan.

And now one can ask; Where exactly was fear relevant to all this?

Well, I've noticed and I've been told that I snap very easily.

Names

Recently, I got infatuated by a book I was reading. There were many things in this book that kept my interest, but at some point the main character mentioned a little something about the meaning of words, and how we use them to "name" a situation or a person.


This character was claiming that once we name something, let's say a relationship or a certain intense feeling, at that right moment it starts losing it's real meaning. He said that once you name it, it immidiately brings the "must do, and do nots" and far worse, certain expectations are risen. You tend to lose the spark and the excitement of the uncertain, of the nameless, of the unknown but enjoyable.


I partly find myself in agreement with this statement because I tend to get annoyed when people subconsciously force themselves to follow certain "rules" or simply patterns that these namings give them, However, this is when critical thinking comes on the surface and not only that.


Words and names sometimes can get you out of the darkness of uncertaintly. Instead of the loss of excitement, they can also intensify the emotions and also provide more motivation to do something about them, to upgrade them, to distort them, to destroy them, to pretty much do anything with them.


But once again, neither this nor the previous statement of the main charcter in the book holds an absolute truth. But that's what's so beautiful about it, don't you think?

"A place where the feast never ends
a moment when the music celebrates
and a time where darkness belongs to night's skies and
nothing else!"

(Archive-Nothing Else)

Recycling

Do we evolve?

Or do we regenerate?

or maybe we become "damaged"?

rot?

refresh?

change?

Or stay the same?

there was no way at that short time
that I would find a meaning
only brightness
running through yesterday

it's like a merry-go-round going round
going round forgetting pain
I go ahead
still not knowing where to go

if you let me compare
the bright fragrance of a mature fruit
will quietly fade after colouring a season

ivy will intertwine
body will rot away
the piece of memory will return to the soil
and a flower will grow again

like a merry-go-round & round
I'll see you again in the spring

(hide-Hurry go round)

Going backwards, but towards something new

The process of "reverse" is something that distorts the original and the "normal" state.

It is something that can be considered wrong, or broken, perhaps even meaningless by some.

But only through the reverse function one can notice the difference, the detail, and perhaps an outstanding innovation.

If we name this an intrapersonal process, it's the path towards a discovery of an identity.

We go backwards and we look blurry and lost to the others, but to us it's the process of removing the blurry spots.


This is going to be the basic method that I will use on certain issues here.

For the sake of testing this

First entry, just to see how this works.